Playing for Real: Video games and Violence

 "It is hard to talk about video games and 2012 without addressing the shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Conn. and the inevitable debate over violent games that emerged from the entirely predictable discovery that Adam Lanza, the 20-year-old gunman, played Call of Duty games," writes Chris Suellentrop in The New York Times on December 26, 2012.

Images of real weapons are depicted in video games. Last year, Anders Behring Breivik, the Norwegian who killed 77 people, said that he "honed his shooting skills by playing many hours of Call of Duty," write Barry Meir and Andrew Martin in The New York Times of December 25, 2012. More disconcerting is that these violent video games provide links to sites where real weapons can be readily purchased. As I mentioned in last week's blog, the purchaser needs nothing more than a credit card to order semiautomatic weapons for overnight delivery.

Philip Cook and Jens Ludwig in their book, Gun Violence: The Real Costs estimate the annual cost of gun violence in America to be $100 billion. All of us share the costs of gun violence. I quote from a synopsis of the book. "Whether waiting in line to pass through airport security or paying taxes for the protection of public officials; whether buying a transparent book bag for our children to meet their school's post-Columbine regulations or subsidizing an urban trauma center, the steps we take are many and the expenditures enormous. Cook and Ludwig reveal that investments in prevention, avoidance, and harm reduction, both public and private, constitute a far greater share of the gun-violence burden than previously recognized. "

The human mind often has difficulty distinguishing fantasy from reality. Nancy Lanza, mother to assassin Adam Lanza, believed that Doomsday was around the corner and stocked her home with an armamentarium of weapons. Her son used them to kill her,  twenty children and six more adults on December 14, 2012.

People harbor all kinds of beliefs. We can't condemn them for their ideas nor can we predict who, when, or where they will act on "irrational" beliefs to harm themselves or others.

Each of us experiences moments of confusion conflating reality with fantasy. People have murdered their bed partners claiming they were acting on the basis of a violent "dream."

But we do know that video games include images of "real" weapons and contribute to blurring fantasy and reality and adding fuel to aggressive and violent behavior.

Conclusion: We need to acknowledge the predilection of the human mind to blur fantasy and reality, to address and, hopefully, close the loopholes to easy access and acquisition of firearms and ammunition. Factors like video games and violent movies that have encouraged or taught people about firearms need to be considered for their potential danger to harm innocent people, including us and our children.

Happy New Year to all. Let us hope that 2013 brings solutions to curb  the violence that plagues our nation.

Dear Reader, I welcome your comments.

jsimon145@gmail.com

Guns, Bullets and the Medical Model

It is a great irony that guns and bullets that kill, more rapidly than any pill heals, can be readily obtained. The distribution of medications like antibiotics, antidepressants, anti-anxiety medicines is strictly monitored, prescribed in specific amounts by professionals to individuals who require them for a limited period of time. Guns and bullets

are readily available at gun shows and on the internet "where anybody with a credit card can order semiautomatic weapons for overnight delivery." (The New York Times, December 19).

In his editorial column in The New York Times on December 20, Nicolas Kristoff provides some brutal statistics:

 1. Every two months more Americans die in gun violence than in the 9/11 attack, according to data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

 2. We lose some 2,800 children and teenagers to guns annually according to a study by the Children's Defense Fund.

3. More than twice as many preschoolers die annually from gun violence in America as law enforcement officers are killed in the line of duty.

Violence is difficult, and at times, impossible, to predict so background checks solve only part of the problem.  Adam Lanza had not been violent before he gunned down 20 children and six adults , massacring them in minutes, at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut on December 14, 2012.

People who commit mass murders rarely participate in psychological counseling. Targeting and stigmatizing people with a psychiatric history hardly encourages people to seek treatment. 

In last week's blog I mentioned that each of us, like President Lincoln, is to some extent "damaged goods." The issue is not "them vs. us" but to recognize our commonality.

This country has 300 million guns, almost one for every citizen in the United States. Some people believe that more guns will prevent violence. Research shows that more guns result in a greater number of both homicides and suicides.

By contrast to the unpredictability of the human mind, guns and bullets predictably kill. It stands to reason then, that a simple, effective approach would be to control the distribution of guns and ammunition.

 

Physicians are supervised and re-certified. Hospitals are required to have Utilization Review systems and review boards. Utilization review boards could be set up to monitor the distribution and use of weapons. Guns and bullets could be prescribed like medicine, in an appropriate quantity to an individual for a specific purpose for a given time period.

I hope we can put aside our selfish, uninformed beliefs and unite in the common goal to protect our children and innocent citizens, including you and me.

Conclusion: Rules for the distribution of medicine that heals contrast to the free distribution of weapons that kill. We need strict ways to distribute and track weapons and ammunition.

Dear Reader, I welcome your comments. jsimon145@gmail.com

What We Share with President Lincoln

In his editorial column in The New York Times on November 23, David Brooks attributes Lincoln's greatness to his ability to combine the paradoxical attributes of "high vision and low cunning."  Brooks concludes Lincoln's ability stemmed from the fact that he was "damaged goods."

The concept of 'broken' and 'damaged' rings throughout human history. Stories from The Bible spell out some variations on this theme. Prize winning playwright Eugene O'Neill said, "Man is born broken. He lives by mending. The grace of God is glue."

 My observations deviate from O'Neill's; I think we're born with the potential to be "whole" and become broken in small or large ways in the course of coping with the real world, rendering each of us "damaged goods".

Not even "good enough parenting" can prepare an offspring entirely for the outside world, because those who are lucky enough to receive unadulterated support and encouragement at home, may be disappointed to find that they aren't treated similarly by others. Paradoxically, the expectation of fairness can become a liability, because, as we know, the world is not always fair.

As I concluded in my blog of December 3, we're fortunate if we can piece together a story of our life to help us survive and thrive.

Conclusion: We benefit from recognizing our commonality with President Lincoln: We're all, in some way(s), "damaged goods."

Dear Reader, I look forward to your comments: jsimon145@gmail.com.

Good-Byes: Gratitude and Resentment

At the end of Yann Martel's masterpiece, Life of Pi, the protagonist's companion, a Bengal tiger named Richard Parker, trails off into the jungle without turning his head to acknowledge or bid farewell to Pi, his savior. The moment is poignant and sad, as the tiger fails to conclude their relationship. (*Please see Pi's words below.)

After all, Pi  protected the tiger from drowning and starvation during their struggle to survive on a life raft in the Pacific Ocean.

Many of us animal lovers believe that nonhuman animals are able to experience and express gratitude. When Elephants Weep, the Emotional Lives of Animals by J.M. Masson and S.M. McCarthy  is a beautiful exploration of this theme.

The mystery of why the tiger fails to acknowledge the meaningful bond is left to the reader or moviegoer to answer. I'll take a stab at this baffling question and relate it to a story of my own.

Recently I underwent a routine colonoscopy required by the medical profession. I resented having to endure the preparation and the invasive procedure, although it was admittedly, a minor one. I had to reach into my soul to muster gratitude to the doctor who successfully and skillfully performed the (unwanted) procedure.

I suggest that Richard Parker resents Pi because the tiger connects Pi to the ordeal, associating Pi to trauma, rather than salvation. Imbued in suffering, Parker can't soar to the heights of gratitude.

 A good-bye can be seen as an expression of gratitude. Could the absence of a farewell (abbreviation from the archaic Fare thee well; go with God)  be an expression of  the opposite of gratitude, of resentment?  If Parker were human, would we accuse him of a kind of narcissistic self-involvement?

Striking examples from my practice stand out. One client, after concluding therapy, continued to phone to wish me well at holiday time. When she stopped phoning I knew she had passed away. Another client who had done good work begrudged having to see a therapist at all. In spite of substantial progress, she expressed resentment by missing her last appointment.

I suggest that a Pi and a tiger lurk within each of us, the seeds of gratitude and the potential for resentment. It may be a lot to project onto a tiger, but I think he lacks  gratitude.

Conclusion: A proper good-bye, expresses appreciation for the relationship. But  sometimes we have to settle for less.

 Dear Reader, I welcome your comments. jsimon145@gmail.com

 *(from Yann Martel, Life of Pi)

One of my last images of Richard Parker

at that precise moment

he jumped over me

His body immeasurably vital

stretched in the air above me

a fleeting, furred rainbow

He landed in the water

his back legs splayed

his tail high and from there

in a few hops, he reached the beach

He went to the left,

his paws gouging the wet sand

but changed his mind

and spun around. He passed

directly in front of me

on his way to the right

He didn't look at me

He ran a hundred yards

 or so along the shore

before turning in.

His gait was clumsy and uncoordinated

He fell several times

At the edge of the jungle, he stopped

I was certain he would turn my way

He would look at me

He would flatten his ears

He would growl

In some such way, he would

conclude our relationship

He did nothing of the sort

He only looked fixedly

into the jungle. Then Richard Parker,

companion of my torment, awful,

fierce thing, that kept me alive,

moved forward and disappeared

forever from my life.

Story-telling and Survival

We are all natural story-tellers when discussing our own lives. We stitch together events of our past and present imbuing the details with our own interpretations.  For example, "I was born....raised by my parents who.... brothers and sisters....and therefore....,"etc.

We are the authors and (often the only)  audience of our narratives. Sometimes we gather a relative or friend and indulge our human need to share our stories.

Yann Martel's award-winning book Life of Pi , recently made into a 3-D movie, tells the story of a young Indian boy Pi, the son of a zookeeper, who decides to travel to Canada by boat. The cargo ship (Tsimtsum) is wrecked in the midst of a violent storm, and Pi is the only human survivor. He endures many hardships as he struggles on a life raft in the Pacific Ocean. His sole companion is a Bengal tiger, who because of a clerical error, is named Richard Parker.

After many life-threatening circumstances, the two reach the land of Mexico, where Pi is taken to the hospital. He recovers and is interviewed by two Japanese investigators, who sent to find out why the ship sank, refuse to believe Pi's incredible narrative about survival with the tiger on the life raft in the Pacific. Pi humors them, altering his story. This invention of another narrative, opens up a philosophical can of worms:  What is the real story? How much does a narrator change his story to make it palatable to his audience? And to himself?

Perhaps what the real story is doesn't matter as much as the purpose it serves, which, I suggest is survival.  

In his new book Hallucinations (Knopf ), Oliver Sacks adds another dimension to the human impulse to spin tales. A professor of neurology at the New York School of Medicine, Sacks observes that the brain in the states of (1) boredom or (2) loss of sensory input may hallucinate to  create images to fill the void.

In other words, we create narratives all the time in many situations for the sake of our physical and/or psychological survival.

Is it fair to say, then, that a narrative, our storytelling, works when it keeps us alive, and fails us when we lose hope?

Conclusion: A narrative serves us well when it offers flexibility to change with our needs and times, to help us survive and avoid disillusionment.

Dear Reader, I welcome your experiences and comments. jsimon145@gmail.com

The Gift of Silent Listening

By adding the dimension of attention, the simple act of hearing can be elevated to listening, a skill that, according to the auditory neuroscientist Seth Horowitz, could be in decline. He outlines different types of listening: from the automatic, relatively simple, defensive, life-preserving response of a startle reaction to subtle interpretations involving our higher cortical neurons (The New York Times, November11, 2012, p. 10). Dr. Horowitz is concerned that, “in a world of digital distraction and information overload,” we are in danger of losing our ability to listen. 
 

Psychotherapists must learn to listen in a most profound sense, to know when and how to listen without speaking. 

This is not easy, because we have been conditioned to respond by speaking. Paradoxically, silence can be a gift greater than words, indicating deeper attention and understanding. 

  

For example, a daughter shares her troubles with her mother. She doesn't want to be told what to do. She may simply want her mother to listen as a receptive audience. The nod of a mother's head suffices to show she is present and caring. 

  

A correct and well-timed interpretation during an analytic treatment gives a sense of being physically held. Silence is a variation on this theme. To remain silent at poignant moments is a kind of containing, analogous to what pioneering psychoanalyst D.W. Winnicott called a “holding environment,” as a mother embraces and comforts her infant. 

  

Similarly, our love for pets like dogs and horses may be explained by their silence: We feel listened to, understood and contained. 

  

Conclusion: With the focus on modern technology and rapid communication, the art of  listening is threatened and deserves our attention. Sorting out the differences between hearing  and  listening, and recognizing the varieties of  listening, can enhance our personhood and deepen our relationships.  


Dear Reader, I welcome your comments. jsimon145@gmail.com

Admitting Mistakes

At some point in our lives, we’ve all made mistakes. Most of us agree that to err is human. Yet some people really can't admit that they are wrong about anything, seeming incapable of saying "I'm sorry." They seem oddly unperturbed by behavior that bothers others.

For example, a husband doesn't call his wife to say he'll be late for dinner. He doesn't apologize. She asks, "Why didn't you phone to tell me?"

"I didn't think you'd have your cell phone," he says.

The response angers because it implies that the person who has been inconvenienced has made the mistake.  

How to understand this blind spot?

These people may have been punished for minor transgressions in their childhood. They learned to defend themselves by denial or rationalization or displacement, blaming their circumstances or other people.

Admitting a mistake is appealing because it indicates that we accept responsibility, acknowledge our humanity and will try to improve. By contrast, a pseudo-apology is the case in which corrective action doesn't follow the words. In last week's blog, I refer to the play The Whale, in which a self-destructive man says he’s sorry several times, but fails to change the behavior for which he apologizes.

Conclusion: The ability to acknowledge our mistakes in a genuine way is a likeable trait. Raising children who can admit to being wrong (paradoxically) improves our chances to improve. 

Dear Reader, I welcome your comments. jsimon145@gmail.com

The Positive Spin on Self Love

Self-love has a bad reputation, especially since the decade of narcissism in the 1970’s. But what is self-love? Although a narcissistic person appears to love himself, he really cares about a glorified image of who he thinks he is or wants to be. Narcissism is a defense to guard against underlying feelings of inadequacy. Self indulgence, obsessive or excessive attention to appearance, the constant need for an audience are not signs of genuine love but investment in a false self, an image that can never be satisfied or satiated.  

When a person is grounded in his real self, he knows who he is. He isn’t desperate for others to admire him and keep him high on a pedestal.  He invests his resources in creative ventures, believing in them and enjoying his own process.

When we really love ourselves, we aren’t self-absorbed; we take care of our health by eating well and exercising. We work to lessen the stresses in our lives. We embrace a good work ethic, and we care about other people and our environment. Loving our real, problem-solving, creative self increases our energy and ability to give to others.

An example of the opposite of self-love-self-loathing-is portrayed in The Whale, the play currently being performed at Playwright’s Horizon on 42^nd St. Instead of grieving and healing himself after a major loss, a man becomes a food addict. His morbid obesity leaves him unable to care for himself, dependent on other people.  He apologizes constantly, but his words, “I’m sorry,” ring like empty echoes through a dark corridor. He cares neither about himself nor others who are only frustrated in their attempts to care for him. In the final analysis, no one can save someone who refuses to help himself.

Conclusion:  Loving ourselves in a “real” way gives us energy to give to others and implies we care about other people too.

Dear Reader, I welcome your comments. jsimon145@gmail.com

Our Power to Appreciate

Mother Nature is indiscriminate. What Hurricane Sandy destroyed, what she spared, was to a large extent, a matter of luck. Of course, houses and hospitals in the vicinity of rivers and oceans were more vulnerable. For the first time in the 275 year history, New York City’s flagship Bellevue Hospital was shut down. Patients had to be moved when fuel pumps for its backup generators failed and millions of gallons of water were pumped out of the basement.

 What lessons can be take from this devastation? Modern technology can tempt us to feel powerful and secure. Hurricane Sandy demonstrates that to a great degree we are subject to Mother Nature’s ways in spite of our brains and powerful computers.

That, of course, doesn’t stop us from continuing to try to outrun and outsmart her, but more than ever we need to live with an awareness of our vulnerability, with respect and awe for Mother Nature.

Conclusion: Technological advances can lull us into complacency and a sense of false security. We need to keep in mind the fragility of our existence and our vulnerability to Nature, and to realize the power we have to appreciate the positive of each moment.

Dear Reader, I look forward to your comments. jsimon145@gmail.com

Living like a Dare Devil

If we care to live our lives to the fullest, we have to take chances. Taking risks means failing at some point- a fact that doesn’t faze us in early life. A baby naturally takes risks and accepts his failures. He falls down many times before he learns to balance and walk upright.

As we mature and become self-conscious, we learn mistakes have a negative connotation. We have to work hard to re-learn the baby’s attitude: Mistakes are part of learning. We live a richer, more satisfying life when at certain times, we take a reasonable risk, like applying for a new, more demanding job.

We often assume risk-taking is easy for everyone else. I think of Felix Baumgartner,

an Austrian‘daredevil’ who experienced panic when he contemplated his goal. I find the paradox amusing: a daredevil with panic. But he didn’t cave in; he found a coach to help him with his anxiety. 

On October 14, Mr. Baumgartner risked his life while  jumping from a space capsule in a pressurized suit from a height of twenty-four miles, falling at 834 mph to break the sound barrier.

Few of us plan to take risks of this magnitude. But thinking of a panicked daredevil shrinks fear and normal daily risk-taking to manageable proportions.

Conclusion: A satisfying life involves experiences in which we extend ourselves beyond our comfort zone.

Dear Reader, I welcome your comments: jsimon145@gmail.com

Talking to Ourselves (to Voxalate or Not?)

Many jokes abound about talking to ourselves.  The tendency has been associated with mental aberrations and indulging in the habit may cause fear that we’re loosing touch with reality.

“As long as you don’t get an answer,” is a favorite retort. But when we don’t want to bother other people with our jabber, why not talk to ourselves? In fact, there may be some benefit to the practice: researchers have actually found that hearing our thoughts can help us locate a missing object.

  

The behavior could also indicate a kind of awareness, rather than an obliviousness of our own actions. Dividing ourselves into an experiencer and an observer may give us a more accurate picture of ourselves, thereby achieving a goal of psychotherapy: to teach a patient to become his own therapist by observing his thoughts and actions.

I propose to invent a new verb - voxalate- to mean the positive, reassuring and helpful phenomenon of talking to oneself out loud.

  

Conclusion:  Talking to oneself can boost the memory and help us become more self-aware. 

Dear Reader, Please add your opinions and experiences. Jsimon145@gmail.com

Taking Inventory

“Classical music elevates everything.” I hear these words booming over the radio station WQXR at 7am. How true about classical music for me and many others, some who fund the listener’s sponsored station. Joyous sounds of Bach's compositions raise the question in my mind:  If Bach could write these magnificent concerti, how can I wallow in misery?

 Other beautiful things and relationships nurture me too. Taking stock of positive attachments is a key to happiness: family, friends, patients, dog, reading,writing.

Dear Reader, This week, I offer these few words. Please share your thoughts. What lifts your spirits?  jsimon145@gmail.com

Some Thoughts on Insatiability

Insatiability, an appetite that can not be satisfied, can plague an individual or an entire nation. Accepting real and basic needs can seem like a hardship. In my mind I think I could do without the vast variety of products in the supermarket. But when I can’t find the precise cereal or tea because it’s out of stock, my childish nature rants and rales. Well where is it? When will you have it again?

But preference is not the same as an insatiable compulsion. I like to think I could learn to accept fewer choices if I had to (although the propensity to fool ourselves is part of human nature). But an insatiable person suffers. The hoarder, for example, is burdened by too much stuff  that takes up space, limits freedom to move, and threatens personal relationships.

Compared to the insatiability of greed, the principles of Stoicism set a stage more conducive to happiness. Stoicism, a systematic philosophy, dating from around 300 B.C., states that to live the good life, we must live in accord with our human nature, as rational, reflective, and thoughtful beings, and conform our actions to the conditions of the natural world. The stoic Epictetus said,“There is only one place the world can’t touch: our inner selves, our choice at every moment to be brave, to be reasonable, to be good…. Where is the good? In the will…If anyone is unhappy, let him remember that he is unhappy by reason of himself alone.”

We envy wealth because we associate it with happiness. But this could be an illusion. Psychology recognizes underlying factors that lead an “average” person to become insatiable. He’s disconnected from his “real” or “true” self, the spontaneous, problem- solving, creative aspect of psyche described by psychiatrists Donald Winnicott and Karen Horney in the twentieth century.  The false, insatiable self isn’t grounded in reality because a person has received less than “good enough” parenting.

Charles Dickens, the author of the classic story The Christmas Carol, was not only a genius writer but also a natural psychologist. He intuited the dynamics underlying greed before the time of Winnicott and Horney. The character Scrooge learns the origin of his greed when he is visited in a nightmare by the Ghost of Christmas Past, who reveals that Scrooge was abandoned as a child on Christmas by his father. So began his lack of socialization and empathy. Scrooge’s insatiable hunger stems from the absence of caring family bonds.

Most politicians have been raised with the sense that they are “special” and privileged. They need to have an inflated sense of themselves and their purpose to hold a demanding and powerful position. Ideally they serve the people of their nation. World history reveals that too often, however, they serve their own drives for power and wealth.

In his October 4 New York Times editorial titled, “Why Let the Rich Hoard all the Toys? Nicolas D. Kristof writes that economic problems stem from the fact that most of the nation’s wealth is held in the hands of very few. He quotes Joseph Stiglitz the Nobel laureate who says that economic inequality is leading to  “an economic system that is less stable, less efficient, with less growth.”

Conclusion: We look unfavorably upon those who acquire their wealth illegally, rip off, harm or exploit others in a ruthless manner, hoard or condescend to those less fortunate. But wealth itself isn’t abhorrent. Rather, it’s the ungracious, greedy attitude of some wealthy people that we find distastful.

Dear Readers, Please add your comments. Jsimon145@gmail.com

Ubiquitous Addictions

An recent obituary in the New York Times reports the death, at age 83, of Dr. Griffith Edwards, an addiction specialist who “helped establish addiction medicine as a science.” In the 1960’s, habitual drunkenness was considered “a moral failing” and the only treatment was drying out.  He was the first to describe the discrete and measurable components of alcoholism craving, heightened tolerance, loss of control and physical withdrawal symptoms. In addition, he found that more intensive therapy and engaging patients in a collaborative relationship were most effective in achieving sobriety.

Recently, I’ve been thinking about addictions and, with surprise, discover their prevalence. Considered an aberration, addiction plays itself out in many lives, crossing social, economic and educational barriers. The tendency to turn to a substance or behavior to distract ourselves is very common. Often we sidestep, avoid and deny the problem to ourselves and others. Addiction is a kind of defense mechanism to guard against perceived threats from the environment and from our own thoughts, feelings and impulses.

Sometimes defenses get out of hand; instead of protecting us, they become the nexus of the problem--akin to the kind of thinking that if a little (ice cream, chocolate) is good, a lot must be better. 

The crux of the matter is that our mind consists of polarities.  One aspect opposes another. Psychological and spiritual pioneers write about this concept in what seems like infinite variations on the theme: for example, Freud had a theory of Libido (life force) and Thanatos (death impulse); Jung of animus (masculine) and anima (feminine). We find the polarities of good and bad in religion, fairy tales, cowboy stories, and politics.

Because our minds tend to think in dualities, each one of us is capable of addictive behavior at any time for any reason. Aberration is commonplace. To deal with denial and avoidance, we confront and become aware. The goal, of course, is to face a threat with courage, trying to understand and resolve it. For us fallible humans, this expectation is enormous, requiring time, honesty, courage, effort and discipline.

Let us recognize and embrace the duality of the human mind with an inherent propensity for addiction, not to condone, but to address and, when appropriate say, “There but for the Grace of God, go I.”  (John Bradford, an Englishman, uttered these words in 1553, witnessing a prisoner about to be executed at the Tower of London; a short while later, Bradford was burned at the stake for his Protestant beliefs. Learning about Bradford informs me that we as a species have made some progress in the realm of tolerance too.)

Conclusion: In spite of the horrors in today’s world, an understanding and acceptance of human nature is increasing. Witness Dr. Edwards’ elucidation of alcohol addiction in the 1960’s and the recognition of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder as a bonefide entity in 1980.

Dear Reader, As always, your comments are appreciated. jsimon145@gmail.com.

Obstacles as Opportunities

We don’t look for obstacles; they find us. They are inherent in La condition humaine. Some lie outside ourselves in the real world, like a detour on a highway that takes us five miles off our designated route. Many obstacles are mind-made, created by us with a spontaneity akin to the heart beat. We psychotherapists often say or think to ourselves: “More grist for the mill.” We anticipate that benefits will emerge from dealing with these matters. I propose taking the point a step further to consider if obstacles and opportunities can be compared to Newton’s Third Law of Motion: For each action (obstacle) there is an equal and opposite reaction (opportunity).

For example, as a young man in Germany, Viktor Frankl was tortured with fellow prisoners in a Nazi concentration camp. He realized that through sheer mental power, he could lift himself above the horror through the spirit of love. He became a psychiatrist and founded the school of logotherapy-a theory based on the belief that human nature is motivated by the search for a purpose.

When I encounter an obstacle I think of Frankl and by comparison mine is, not surprisingly, infinitesimal. Here’s an example of obstacle followed by an opportunity: I imagine holding a dinner party. I become anxious. I explore the roots of my anxiety. My house is cluttered. I’ll de-clutter. Great. I’ve found a way to diminish my anxiety and increase the comfort of my home.

We can’t measure forces in a psychological field but I think this question provides food for thought.

Conclusion: We can look upon obstacles with the potential to offer opportunities to improve our lives, whether they are created by our minds or extant in the world.

Dear Reader, Please offer your experiences and opinions. Jsimon145@gmail.com

Change: Perceptions and Repercussions

The psychotherapeutic process can be risky. Most people don’t begin the process unless plagued with a symptom or a problem.

M. Scott Peck, a minister and psychiatrist (1935-2004) acknowledged that the path to psychological insight is uncommon; he compiled his observations in his self help book titled The Road less Travelled (1978). Only after the author toured and lectured for a few years, did his tome sell millions of copies.

Why does a self-help book become a best seller? I think we both fear and want to understand the enigmas of the mind. Peck found some appealing, credible answers to explain our behavior.

At the beginning of my career, a psychologist told me a story about himself.

“When I began psychoanalysis, I said to my analyst, ‘I don’t want therapy to mess up my happy marriage.’  And what do you think happened? That’s right. I divorced.” He continued, “Although my family experienced a difficult time of upheaval, the outcome proved to be better for everyone.” His experience, although tumultuous, endorsed the value of pursuing the road less travelled.

Sometimes one person in a relationship changes and is frustrated when his partner doesn’t. For example, Mr. O. made progress with his addiction. When an increasingly rare slip occurred, he gained insight about how to avoid trigger points.  His partner, however, persisted in seeing the problem, the occasional slip rather than following the road less travelled to help her appreciate Mr. O’s progress.

I empathized with Mr. O. assuring him that the desire for recognition was natural and that it was regrettable that his partner wasn’t able to perceive the change.

Changes often occur within us and in our world even when we don’t follow the road less traveled. Often we close off perceptions, as if wearing blinders like a street horse, in order to guard against disquieting perceptions of change.

Poet Sara Teasdale (1901-1933) sums up the danger and joy of change:

“Never fear though it break your heart-

Out of the wound new joy will start…”

Conclusion: The journey of increasing awareness of ourselves and our world exposes the unexpected and challenges our relationships. Improvements may not be recognized by our friends or relatives, but a more authentic existence is the reward.

Dear Reader, As always, your comments are welcome: jsimon@gmail.com.

Post-Traumatic Stress, Some Themes & Variations

We don’t commonly think of the home environment as causing post-traumatic stress disorder. But Sam Shepard’s latest play, Heartless, running at the Signature theatre explores this theme.

Set in the Murphy home Heartless distinguishes itself from Shepard’s other plays in the predominance of women. Each of the five characters suffers trauma and subsequent symptoms of PTSD. Mother Mabel is wheelchair bound, having jumped or fallen from a pine tree after being abandoned by her husband. Her older daughter, Lucy, is tied to her disabled mother. Her younger daughter, thirty year old Sally, suffers survival guilt for receiving the heart of a murdered ten–year-old girl twenty years earlier. Roscoe, a sixty-five year-old ex-marine and child of the ‘60’s drug culture, has split from his wife of many years is making a video with Sally. A beautiful mute nurse tending to mother Mabel relives the murder of the heart donor, which she plays out through horrid grimaces and blood curdling screams.

(I think that the nurse is the incarnation of the dead girl, but this detail is open to interpretation).

Pulitizer Prize-winning Shepard has approached the topic  of PTSD in several of his plays, including Buried Child, and has acted in movies featuring PTSD (the 2009 movie, The Brothers, that deals with the aftermath of war and the family). Shepard’s own father, a WWII bomber pilot and an alcoholic, suffered from symptoms of PTSD and the playwright has modeled characters after his father in his other plays, including Curse of the Starving Class (1976).  His work has increased my awareness about the prevalence of post-traumatic stress disorder. Heart transplants and military service have something in common. The heart is drastically altered when confronted with death. This anxiety disorder develops in some people after seeing or living through an event that caused or threatened serious harm or death. It is characterized by:

Unwanted memories

Bad dreams

Emotional numbness

Intense guilt or worry

Angry outbursts

Feeling “on Edge”

Avoiding thoughts and

situations that bring up the trauma.

Before 1980, people with PTSD were labeled as “weak” and sometimes discharged from military service. PTSD, was officially recognized as a disorder in 1980.  The Diagnostic Statistical Manual describes the sufferer as manifesting:

 “…deliberate efforts to avoid certain thoughts, feelings, or conversations about the traumatic event and to avoid activities, situations, or people who arouse recollections of it.”

Contrary to the common tendency of the victim to deny the source of pain, the trauma must be confronted. Anti-depressant medication, especially the serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) have been found helpful in conjunction with talk therapy.

Conclusion: “Homelessness is the primary existential condition in Mr. Shepard’s universe, even when you’re at home,” Ben Brantley writes  (“All the Discomforts of Home,” New York Times, August 28, 2012). In the final analysis I think it’s fair to say that home is an internal psychological state. Home lies in the heart. In Shepard’s Heartless, no one is at home; everyone is rootless. Shepard continues to search and question and I think, asks us to do the same. The theme is especially relevant now, the eleventh anniversary of 9/11.

Dear Reader: Please offer your comments. Jsimon145@gmail.com

Superheroes and Solutions? (for Labor Day, 2012)

Superheroes have been around for a long time-Superman and Batman since the 1930’s, Spiderman since the 1960’s. In a New York Times article, authors Manohla Dargis and A.O.Scott suggest that today’s superheroes are even more powerful.  (“Super-dreams of an Alternate World Order,”  July 1, 2012). Superheroes tap into our national myths and ideas of “American exceptionalism—“….that this country is different from all others because of its mission to make ‘the world safe for democracy,’ as Woodrow Wilson and…Iron Man both put it.”

A major change from the superheroes of the ‘30s and ‘60s is that the element of playfulness is no longer a common part of the repertoire. The few women superheroes perpetuate sexism through their physical beauty and indulgent smiles. The Joker’s question from “The Dark Knight” is mocking, “Why so serious?” Revenge has become the obsession.

Psychologists know that the appetite for revenge feeds on itself, the way a blast of oxygen energizes a fire. I witnessed a small example of this acted out on the cross-town bus the other day: an altercation between a woman, angered when a tall man shoved her frail 82-year-old father, ordering him to get out of the way. “Wait until you get old,” she shouted. He yelled back a series of profanities and the exchange roared above the purr of bus motor for several blocks. Fortunately no one had a gun.

News in the media supports the fact that men are losing power in our society. Perhaps the superhero serves as an anodyne, numbing the pain of men who feel impotent in our modern society.  If this is the case, the development serves to distance us--through avoidance, denial, escapism--from positive, constructive action: respect, understanding, apology, and empathy.

Have the superheroes gone too far? The frightening question underlying this media trend:  Is this hunger for revenge contributing to the random shootings that threaten to become commonplace? The last mass slaughter occurred in an Aurora, Colorado movie theatre during the midnight premier of “The Dark Knight Rises.”

How much longer, how much more, before we hit bottom?

Dear Reader, Please share your thoughts. Jsimon145@gmail.com