Monday, December 10, 2012

Good-Byes: Gratitude and Resentment


At the end of Yann Martel's masterpiece, Life of Pi, the protagonist's companion, a Bengal tiger named Richard Parker, trails off into the jungle without turning his head to acknowledge or bid farewell to Pi, his savior. The moment is poignant and sad, as the tiger fails to conclude their relationship. (*Please see Pi's words below.)
After all, Pi  protected the tiger from drowning and starvation during their struggle to survive on a life raft in the Pacific Ocean.

Many of us animal lovers believe that nonhuman animals are able to experience and express gratitude. When Elephants Weep, the Emotional Lives of Animals by J.M. Masson and S.M. McCarthy  is a beautiful exploration of this theme.

The mystery of why the tiger fails to acknowledge the meaningful bond is left to the reader or moviegoer to answer. I'll take a stab at this baffling question and relate it to a story of my own.

Recently I underwent a routine colonoscopy required by the medical profession. I resented having to endure the preparation and the invasive procedure, although it was admittedly, a minor one. I had to reach into my soul to muster gratitude to the doctor who successfully and skillfully performed the (unwanted) procedure.

I suggest that Richard Parker resents Pi because the tiger connects Pi to the ordeal, associating Pi to trauma, rather than salvation. Imbued in suffering, Parker can't soar to the heights of gratitude.

 A good-bye can be seen as an expression of gratitude. Could the absence of a farewell (abbreviation from the archaic Fare thee well; go with God)  be an expression of  the opposite of gratitude, of resentment?  If Parker were human, would we accuse him of a kind of narcissistic self-involvement?

Striking examples from my practice stand out. One client, after concluding therapy, continued to phone to wish me well at holiday time. When she stopped phoning I knew she had passed away. Another client who had done good work begrudged having to see a therapist at all. In spite of substantial progress, she expressed resentment by missing her last appointment.

I suggest that a Pi and a tiger lurk within each of us, the seeds of gratitude and the potential for resentment. It may be a lot to project onto a tiger, but I think he lacks  gratitude.

Conclusion: A proper good-bye, expresses appreciation for the relationship. But  sometimes we have to settle for less.

 Dear Reader, I welcome your comments. jsimon145@gmail.com

 *(from Yann Martel, Life of Pi)

One of my last images of Richard Parker
at that precise moment
he jumped over me
His body immeasurably vital
stretched in the air above me
a fleeting, furred rainbow

He landed in the water
his back legs splayed
his tail high and from there
in a few hops, he reached the beach

He went to the left,
his paws gouging the wet sand
but changed his mind
and spun around. He passed
directly in front of me
on his way to the right
He didn't look at me
He ran a hundred yards
 or so along the shore
before turning in.
His gait was clumsy and uncoordinated
He fell several times
At the edge of the jungle, he stopped
I was certain he would turn my way
He would look at me
He would flatten his ears
He would growl
In some such way, he would
conclude our relationship

He did nothing of the sort
He only looked fixedly
into the jungle. Then Richard Parker,
companion of my torment, awful,
fierce thing, that kept me alive,
moved forward and disappeared
forever from my life.

1 comment:

  1. Jane -- I really like your explanation of why the tiger did not express gratitude. Although my dogs' vets do wonders for them and even have saved their lives -- they never say thank you! Indeed the one who nearly died and was saved after 5 days in the hospital still cowers when we go to back to that office for a checkup and tries to hide behind me when we are in the vet's examining room. She wants nothing more than to escape from the hero who saved her! Pi remains true to the animal perspective in his tale. If he were making the tiger up he might have anthropomorphized a fond farewell. The fact that the animal behavior is so accurate is what makes me prefer the tiger tale.

    ReplyDelete

Printfriendly