Last week’s post
focused on the positive aspects of narcissism. This week’s missive explores the
downside. This gargantuan topic is especially relevant in our culture, where
the numbers of random shootings, bombings, and knifings continue to increase.
As I wrote
earlier, the narcissistically injured person can positively channel his
feelings of inferiority by excelling in his professional field. However, lacking
a creative outlet or opportunity, the narcissistically injured person is more
likely to turn to violence.
Narcissistic
injury (or damage to self esteem) begins during the developmental years when
the individual doesn’t receive positive feedback (or mirroring) and
encouragement for his real or genuine qualities and talents from parents or
caretakers. As a result, on a deep psychological level, he feels “unseen” or
“invisible” and underappreciated for who he really is. Consequentially, he is
less able to cope with environmental stresses.
In our
media-driven culture, stardom is tantamount. In a quest to be visible and
achieve hero status, the person with a narcissistic personality disorder, can
turn to violence. Tragedy churns the wheels of profit. In his destructive acts,
the anti-hero captures the spotlight and derives his moments of fame.
Speaking on TV
violence, Andy Greenwald (staff writer for Grantland.com) wrote in an essay
last year, ”Some of this carnage is artistic and some of it is gratuitous, but
eventually all of it takes a toll. A simple evening unwinding on the couch can
now be as relaxing as an autopsy; the spots dancing in front of your eyes after
a DVR binge are stained red and they’re spreading.”
These days a
philosopher might say, “I’m
visible; therefore I am.” The essence of “being” contrasts to the days of the
ancient philosopher Rene Descartes who lived in the early 1600’s, and declared,
“I think therefore I am.”
In other words,
identity and worth appear to be based, not on our ability to think, but rather
on an image or ‘being seen.’
Two recent
episodes of random violence include the army Specialist Ivan Lopez, who killed
three and wounded 16 before killing himself at Fort Hood. He had expressed
grudges (against the army). He didn’t earn enough to support his ex-wife and
children and his new family. He seemed angry that he was granted only 24 hours
leave to attend his mother’s funeral.
Most likely he
experienced hopelessness and victimization and thought: What’s the point of it all when the
system is rigged against me and no one is listening? (The clue is to really
listen and respond to someone in dire distress.)
(In a previous
blog post, I wrote about a Con Ed worker who began psychotherapy after he was
traumatized by a gas explosion involving loss of lives. He feared that he would
harm his co-workers who seemed unresponsive to his stress. After many years of
talk therapy, he healed.)
Hate crimes,
such as last week’s attack on the Jewish center in Kansas, are fueled by a kind
of narcissism. People hate in order to feel superior to others and defend
themselves against (unconscious)
feelings of inferiority. Often feeling less-than another person originates from
childhood abuse. (Please refer to Alice Miller’s 1980 book, For Your Own Good:
Hidden Cruelty in Child-Rearing and the Roots of Violence)
Random and
unpredictable acts of violence are likely to increase until we do the
following:
1. Recognize the
need to nurture understanding and empathy (at home, in school and in the work
place),
2. Provide
adequate support to stressed individuals and
3. Monitor access to firearms and other
weapons.
Conclusion: To
counterbalance our media-driven culture, we best recognize and respect people
for their positive qualities, contributions to their families and to society
that extend beyond image and stardom.
Dear Reader, I
welcome your opinions. Jsimon145@gmail.com
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