Sink or Thrive?

Some people emerge from their psychotherapy satisfied that the experience has changed their lives. Others remain dubious about the process and don’t seem to benefit.

Arianna Huffington, the founder of  The Huffington Post, was interviewed by Barbara Walters at the 92^nd St. Y on March 25  on the occasion of the publication of her new book, Thrive  (Harmony Press). She spoke about individuals and their different approaches to a hardship such as unemployment. She noted that some people seem unable to rally, while others transform an obstacle into opportunity.

The question is: what are the differences between the two groups--those who sink, and those who thrive? 

Ms. G., a widow had dedicated her life to her husband and children. After her children established lives of their own, she found herself alone and unable to connect to the world. She considered possible interests but remained unengaged and hopeless and stopped psychotherapy.

After Mr. K., a single, middle-aged man, lost his job he felt isolated and became depressed.  Within a few months, he realized a key to his happiness in the past had been  friendships. He rallied when he re-kindled old relationships and joined a book club to meet new people.  These connections led to opportunities for new work.

People who change share some characteristics. (If they don’t begin the psychotherapeutic process with these qualities, ideally the therapist helps them acquire them.)

1.     First, they acknowledge a problem.

2.     They have the desire to understand themselves and their situation.

3.      They have the will and believe in the power to change. 

4.      They formulate a plan of action.

The individual is a microcosm; but these same principals apply to the macrocosm of our world and our survival as a species.

For example, the world is faced with the severe environmental factors that threaten to destroy us. (“Panel’s Warning on Climate Risk: Worst is to Come, Effects already felt”, The New York Times, March 31).

 So:

1.Will our governments acknowledge that change is essential?

2. Will they implement a successful plan to find the solutions?

If a problem of this magnitude is ignored or denied, we’ll sink.

We know what we have to change the amount of greenhouse emissions. “Nobody on this planet is going to be untouched by the impacts of climate change,” said the chairman of the intergovernmental panel of the U.N.

Conclusion: The same principles apply whether the matter is personal or political. If we acknowledge the problem and our power to find solutions, we’ll most likely thrive. On the other hand, if we deny the problem, we may very well sink.

Dear Reader, I welcome your opinions. Jsimon145@gmail.com