We think of
beauty and intelligence but we rarely stop to recognize the importance of a
positive outlook as an alluring quality.
(But dear
reader, please think about your friends. I venture to guess that you are
attracted to problem-solvers and put-off by persistent naysayers. )
Let’s take the
example of Mr. O. He complains that he doesn’t have friends. “I’m a nice
person,” he repeats. And indeed, he goes out of his way to listen to people’s
problems. But he isn’t positive. Furthermore, he has trouble believing that a
positive attitude matters. Instead he dwells on his difficulties like a duck
delighting in the mud in a puddle.
True, his wife suffers
from dementia, and this is a tragedy. But he is in charge, and at this time, he
chooses to care for her at home. If or when the job becomes overwhelming, he
can place her in a facility.
The challenge is
to reframe, not deny the negative in any situation. If Dr. Fleming had thrown out his contaminated petri dish in
1928 instead of observing it, we might not have the powerful, life-saving
antibiotic, penicillin.
Pessimism is
more common among us humans than optimism. The theologian Norman Vincent Peale was
the first to popularize optimism in his best-selling book, The Power of Positive Thinking (1952). According to Martin Seligman, the psychologist today referred
to as “the father of optimism,” positive thinking can be cultivated like any
other talent, A person has to believe change is possible and challenge negative
self-talk.
Mr. L. was
depressed because he blamed himself for losing his job. He assumed the negative
pattern would continue. When he
viewed the circumstances outside himself, he was able to perceive that the
changes in the culture altered the company’s finances and necessitated job
cuts.
Optimism is the
tendency to believe, expect or hope that things will turn out well. For
example, getting laid off can be an opportunity to do something a person has
always wanted to do. Optimists take responsibility but don’t blame themselves
when bad things happen in their lives.
We can think of
optimism or positive thinking as a gift to give ourselves. It doesn’t take any
space in the closet, never looses its investment value, and benefits body, mind
and soul.
Harvard
researchers observe that people who think positively take better care of
themselves and suffer fewer heart attacks and strokes. The emerging field of
positive psychology studies the beneficial impact that optimism has on mental
health. Optimism strengthens the immune system: optimists are sick less and
live longer than pessimists.
Based on this
finding, positive thinking can be considered an aspect of self-discipline, the
gift of caring for our body, mind and soul . (Please refer to last week’s post,
Self-Discipline Is a Gift.)
Conclusion: In spite of resistance and reluctance (related to belief systems and/or biochemistry), evidence supports that we derive better physical, mental and spiritual health from the practice of positive thinking. The struggle to re-frame the negative is worth the effort .
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