Shaping Life into a Work of Art (or Psychotherapy and Dialectics)

Dialectically speaking, I’m ok and I’m not ok. 

You could say I first discovered dialectics at age ten when my mother’s fifth child, my brother, was born. Confused by my intense and contradictory feelings of love and hate, I wrote them in a little notebook. Committing my feelings to paper allowed the distance to make sense of my dilemma. I loved my brother, an adorable, helpless little being who needed constant care and attention. And I hated him because he further deprived me of the attention of my already overwhelmed mother. Awareness of contradictory yet appropriate feelings made good sense, and I accepted myself (instead of remaining confused and potentially hating myself). And (unconsciously) I probably consoled myself by feelings of powerfulness when I cared for him and imagined I was his second mother. 

Recognized as early as the Greek civilization and expressed in the writings of Plato and Socrates as well as the Chinese philosophy of yin and yang, dialectics views the world in a continuous state of metamorphosis. Thesis and its opposite, antithesis combine to form a synthesis. Over time, the synthesis breaks down into a new thesis followed by its opposite, antithesis, and the process continues ad infinitum. 

Another way of perceiving the process is in the oft-quoted paradoxical aphorism by the Greek Heraclites: one can’t step into the same river twice. The river changes continuously so that it is the same river but not the same. The Biblical story of Creation can also be viewed from a dialectical perspective: Adam (thesis) and Eve (antithesis) unite to create an infant (synthesis). The cycle also plays out in human development. At first the infant is one (or symbiotic) with their mother. Gradually the baby begins to recognize a self (thesis), a person independent and separate. Next, the baby learns to integrate self in the world (antithesis). As an individual interacts with the world, they gradually learn to negotiate with other people; this in turn introduces the need to integrate the opposites of gratification and frustration. 

We usually don’t think how our personal world as well as the world outside us are in a continuous state of flux. Creative and destructive forces dapple our day. This blog addresses the role of dialectics in our daily lives. Understanding the abstract process dialectics can help to ground us and normalize our human condition. The (abstract, philosophical) concept of dialectics (thesis) applied to real life (antithesis) grounds us in awareness (synthesis) and lies at the roots of the psychotherapeutic process. The vast arena of psychoanalysis, psychotherapy and pharmacotherapy helps to resolve stumbling blocks and curve balls that life tosses us. 

Here’s a concise picture of how psychological theories manifest the dialectical process and expand the therapeutic approaches. Freud’s work unified the opposites of unconscious and conscious thinking to resolve inner conflicts. Conscious (thesis) plus unconscious (antithesis) leads to greater awareness (synthesis). The American philosopher and psychologist William James (1842–1910) defined the experiencing self (thesis) and the observing self (antithesis) that work together in a synthesis to enhance awareness. The Austrian American psychoanalyst Heinz Kohut (1913–1981) expanded Freudian theory by introducing the supportive techniques of mirroring and empathy (thesis). Working together with confrontation (antithesis), these tools enable a therapist to treat problems and/or traumas that stem from early development. American psychologist Marsha Linehan (b. 1943) created Dialectical Behavioral Therapy that incorporates the tools of group therapy and journaling. Group therapy helps the individual consider other points of view. Journaling offers the chance to jot down contradictory thoughts. 

How we cope with loss also relates to dialectics. While on a trip to India, my tour group stayed with a woman whose story exemplified the power of transforming loss to gain a larger view of the world. She prepared a delicious smorgasbord of Indian treats for us and entertained questions. A member of our group asked our hostess what had inspired her to entertain tourists. She became animated as she described the most painful event of her life. She had lived a quiet existence with her family until her son was killed in a highway accident. Her husband withdrew from her and the world as he continued to grieve. After two years, she realized she wanted to go on with life and decided to fill the void by opening her home to tourists, to prepare Indian meals and to listen to others’ stories. 

Innovation, too, follows a dialectical pattern. Advances in any field occur when a ground-breaking thinker incorporates diverse influences (thesis) from the past and synthesizes them into something novel. Pablo Picasso (1881–1973) combined the theme of African masks with Cezanne’s concept of perceiving objects from various vantage points. From these influences, he, along with Georges Braque, created Cubism. The American painter Basquiat (1960–88) combined elements of neo-expressionism with themes of racism and colonialism. 

Conclusion: Dialectics expands our understanding of patterns of existence and helps us process the opposite forces that confront us throughout our lives. 

Dear Readers, I welcome your comments. 

Jsimon145@gmail.com