Inside the Mind of The Outsider

Feeling like an outsider is a common experience, an unavoidable reality because each of us is an outsider in certain circles. Being an insider at all times in all situations is impossible.  For example, I’m either an alumna of a college or I’m not.

The problem arises when we think we’re an outsider when we want to be, or actually fall, in the category of ‘insider.’

For example, a woman  moves to a fancy little town where she feels like an outsider because she tells herself, “Everyone has more money than I do.”  She defines herself as an outsider based on economics.  The problem arises when she imagines everyone  thinks of her the way she thinks of herself, as a ‘poor’ outsider.

In actuality, she is an insider because she pays rent and taxes in this town and has every civil right any ‘rich’ resident has.

I was raised by parents who held radical political beliefs and shut me out of weekend discussions held in our living room with their comrades. Then they condemned  my alternate plan to attend  Sunday school with a friend. I had many years and experiences which contributed to my feelings as an outsider and finally began to feel like an insider when I committed myself to my personal writing.

It is difficult to imagine a more unique outsider than William Blake (1757- 1827). The mystic artist was an outsider who contested much of what his culture offered.  He was misunderstood and unrecognized as a great painter and poet.  His art didn’t sell and he experienced extreme poverty. But he was content because he wasn’t an outsider in his own mind; he was a mystic high on his creativity and relationship with the Universe.

In the final analysis, the goal is to be an insider in our own mind. Poet Robert Bly following in the footsteps of mythologist, Joseph Campbell, advised,  “Follow your bliss.”  We feel like an insider when we are comfortable in our own skin which may involve discovering and following our bliss.

Dear Reader: I welcome your comments. (jsimon145@gmail.com)