The Therapist's Use of Self

Vignettes from a therapist’s life can help people who suffer from feelings of aloneness and isolation in their struggles. The fact that the therapist has grappled with similar issues can be helpful. These must be timed skillfully and presented carefully to serve the client and have a positive impact.

(Professional books related to this subject include: The Therapist’s Use of Self by John Rowan and Michael Jacobs, published in 2002 and The Use of Self In Therapy by Michele Baldwin,  2012.)

Recently, Ms. F. asked me if I experience feelings of self-hate. I explained that I certainly had examined the root causes of this emotion in my own therapy years ago, and recognize when it occasionally sneaks into my awareness. Because I know it serves no constructive purpose and experience it as an obstacle, I discard it (in the metaphorical trash can) like an old newspaper.

Mr. G. complained that a paper he was writing took hours to complete. I shared the fact that I had just struggled with the same problem. I knew that many people would be able to prepare the report in less time, but to think along those lines didn’t help. Instead I had to reframe my thinking, to accept the task as mine, and resign myself to finishing it, regardless of the time required.

Conclusion: Vignettes from a therapist’s life can help diminish a client’s feelings of isolation and further the road to self-acceptance. 

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