Paradox and Creative Psychotherapy

 

We're born as the most helpless animals and become the most accomplished.

 

Paradox pervades our daily life, and yet we rarely acknowledge it/take it into account. To define it, a paradox is a statement that embodies two concepts that seem to contradict (even violate) each other but nonetheless are true. 

 

On a grand scale: the statement that “we both enhance and destroy our planet” is an earth-shattering paradox of which to take note.

For instance, creativity and destruction are inherent in our existence.  We deconstruct the old to create the new, as in an artistic advancement. For example, at the beginning of the twentieth century, the Spanish painter and sculptor Pablo Picasso broke the former rules to create his new art forms, and the Russian composer Igor Stravinsky transformed the realm of music in his novel composition, “Rite of Spring.” 

 

In a recent uplifting movie, “A Man Called Otto,” a paradoxical transformation occurs. Otto, a troubled soul determined to be nasty at every chance he gets, grumbles and growls at people and animals. Nothing pleases him. He resolves to end his miserable life, but each attempt he makes is interrupted by some amusing event that summons him back to living. A charming Hispanic neighbor named Marisol moves across the street and appeals to him for help in several ways. She, in turn, is a very giving person who clearly grasps the give and take of human relationships. 

The dynamics between her and Otto are especially delightful to me, because I had to learn this vital equation in early adulthood. As the oldest of five children, born to a gifted but overwhelmed mother (the seismologist Ruth B. Simon), I perceived myself as mom’s helper, as a giver. But my mind blocked out the other side of the equation, that I was also a receiver of care.

 

In the relationship with Marisol, Otto is transformed. Ironically, he changes from the most self-absorbed, nasty individual to the most giving. (I won’t spoil the movie by revealing the end which is also a paradox, a mixed message of loss and gain.) 

 

The film helps to introduce the subject of paradox in the process of psychotherapy. In psychotherapy, we study the evolution of human relationships that are uprooted/destroyed in the hopes of uncovering new or modified perceptions. 

 

Like an artistic endeavor, it is a creative process. We are molding a different self, and actually if we tune in to our daily happenings to examine our responses/reactions to them, we open the possibility for reframing our perceptions and ourselves. For example, as a client raged about how his family stunted his psychological development, he remembered that they sent him to a good college, an experience that greatly expanded his knowledge of the world. He began to realize that, although his parents had damaged him, they had also nurtured him. 

 

Juxtaposing the two sides of reality is a creative act. The opposite psychological process, or “splitting,” involves seeing the world as all “good” or all “bad.” Splitting is like traveling through a narrow tunnel in which the only source of light is straight ahead. Alternatively, when we are able to juxtapose the negative and positive in relationships and situations, we see the complexity and expansiveness, similar to crossing a bridge when we are surrounded by light from all directions. Clearly, the view from the bridge offers a greater perspective of the world than traveling through a narrow tunnel. 

 

Conclusion: As a creative act, the psychotherapeutic process breaks down some aspects of our former self to create (or mold) one that perceives our relationships and our world with greater understanding.

Dear Reader, I welcome your comments: jsimon145@gmail.com

Jane Simon, M.D. 

Conscious Eating (Quality and Quantity)

 

What does “dieting” really mean? We think of a diet as equivalent to restriction and are turned off by the idea of deprivation. (I haven’t yet met a human who cherishes the thought of any kind of deprivation).

 

But in a broader sense, we’re always following one diet or another; diet simply means what we eat, whether we indulge in a diet heavy in pizza or a healthier one (without an overload of carbohydrates) and select one rich in vegetables.

 

We humans complicate the matter of good nutrition. The subject intrigues us. Innumerable books have been written and sold resulting in millions of dollars pocketed by authors. And yet, I contend the matter is simple, but requires the old-fashioned concept of discipline. Discipline is another bane of our existence. We yearn for freedom while discipline requires attention and conscious choice: to do or not to do (which in itself, could be viewed as a kind of limited freedom). Either I eat this orange or I eat this slice of pizza. It is that simple.

 

If one wants to lose weight or maintain a healthy weight one eats more vegetables, fresh fruits and sources of lean protein (fish, chicken, eggs, beans, ow-fat yogurt and less beef and pork and cheese) and eliminates bread, pizza, cake, cookies and ice cream. 

An occasional hunger pang is okay. An occasional treat is too, as long as one defines it as such.

 

No one is perfect. I made a mistake yesterday morning. I make my own oatmeal cookies because I have a sweet tooth and include healthy ingredients, very little butter or sweetening (honey), one egg and lots of oatmeal, whole wheat flour and wheat germ, golden raisins and chopped walnuts. This batch as usual was delicious. But I could not stop eating and demolished more than half. I told myself the ingredients are healthy but the matter also involves quantity and I had overdosed. Suddenly I realized I had behaved as a person with an eating disorder! I observed honestly, without berating myself, and determined to reform. I simply cut down on the calories for the remainder of the day. In brief, no one is perfect. If one falls off the horse, follow the old adage, get back on again.

 

I’ve added the photo of my first attempt at making huevos rancheros for a Sunday breakfast that includes a well-balanced amount of protein (eggs, vegetarian chile, and a sprinkle of Monterey Jack cheese) vegetables, tomatoes and guacamole and grated onion and for carbohydrate, corn tortillas. (What’s missing is a dollop of low-fat sour cream.)

 

Conclusion: A diet is simple but discipline (which includes honesty) is essential.

 

Dear Readers, I welcome your comments: jsimon145@gmail.com