Every morning I jot down my thoughts, free-associating as I type them into my laptop. If I skip this routine, I feel unmoored like a ship lost at sea.
I’ve learned that if I don’t spend time alone, I can’t communicate with my deeper self. Not infrequently I make connections that explain my past behavior. This morning’s scribbling revealed the ever-present influence of the unconscious and why I purchased a little, live potted Norwegian pine tree from Trader Joe’s the previous day. I was confused by my action; in years past I hadn’t wanted a pine’s stalk cut down to wither in my living room.
But this year, no one was compelling to have a tree. So why did I buy the little potted tree? The next morning, as I wrote in my journal I made the connection between my actions and my unconscious. I was replacing a pine that I had accidentally killed by giving it in too much water; the loss was greater because it had been a gift from a special person.
The point is that we often don’t realize the work involved in connecting to ourselves—our minds, our feelings, our bodies. For example, people who stretch their muscles, joints and tendons and become aware of their bodies are less likely to fall and become disabled. Those who face their psychological struggles are likely to be happier in the long run than those who run away and avoid their conflicts.
Henry David Thoreau wrote in Walden(1854 ), his personal journey of self and voyage of self discovery, “The mass of men (and women) lead lives of quiet desperation.” Connecting to ourselves is the way to avoid living a dissatisfied life.
A “good enough” therapist helps a person connect to his or her self. When you are confused or unsure if your therapist is helping, you can jot down your mixed thoughts and feelings to help resolve your doubt.
Best wishes to all in the New Year. I hope that you will connect in many ways to your bodies, minds and feelings.
Please feel free to write your comments to me at jsimon145@gmail.com.
