The Bridge from Judgment to Nurturance: Considering the Pope’s Message

Recently, Pope Francis surprised much of the world by advising that the Catholic Church  nurture rather than judge single parents, gay people and unmarried straight couples who are living together.

 

Although he was referring to the church’s stance on marriage and divorce, his message has far-ranging implications and builds a bridge between the land of religion and  the land of psychology.

There are probably infinite ways to apply his  philosophy of replacing judgment with nurturance in our everyday life.  A valuable exercise would be to list various circumstances to which his words apply in our personal lives.

Here are some on my list:

 1.Reconsider the word ‘"lazy." Let’s try to understand what lies beneath the disparaging label. Behind inaction  often lurks a fear of one kind or another. Some of us even fear failure and success simultaneously.

For example, Ms. K. said to me, “If they like my sculpture, I fear I’ll ultimately disappoint them with my next piece.”

With this sort of thought fixated in a person’s mind, the safest course of action is inaction which can resemble the judgmental word, "lazy."

 2.  We often judge a person on the basis of intelligence, but it is more helpful to nurture someone’s  (especially a child’s) interests and curiosity. For instance, Einstein didn’t speak until he was 4 years old and people assumed he wasn’t smart. Recently, the psychologist Angela Duckworth has identified grit, a combination of passion and perseverance, as being more significant  than I.Q in predicting achievement.  Acknowledging the fact that each of us has our own gifts helps to replace judgment with nurturance.

3. We judge mistakes...even make fun of ourselves and others. A better tactic is to look beyond the error and learn from it. Remembering that Alexander Fleming discovered penicillin from a mistake when his Petri dish became contaminated by a mold supports the idea that we learn from what seems like a mistake or accident.

4. In the past, depression and addiction were judged as a weakness in character.   Now we that these disorders stem from biochemical imbalances that require treatment. 

5. Instead of judging overweight friends, we can nurture their efforts to exercise and adjust their diets.

How do we cross the bridge from judgment to nurturance? Realizing that the passage of time alters the terrain and changes public and private perceptions can help lead to progress and peace.

Conclusion: To apply the Pope’s words to a diversity of situations enhances life on our planet. 

Dear Reader, I hope you’ll try the exercise for yourself. Please share your examples and experience. jsimon145@gmail.com

The Double Vision of Blind Faith

Faith is blind when we believe in something unseen without any or sufficient evidence. Underlying many of our actions is our belief that it will lead to the desired goal.

Many people  act as if they don’t believe (or accept) that exercise and a balanced diet lead to better health and a sense of well-being (although evidence exists). 

It is as if they practice 'blind faith' until they experience the holistic benefits themselves.

What we regard as “blind faith” is personal and may change with time like fashions. The great scientist Louis Pasteur tried to explain the invisible contamination by microbes. “The world into which you wish to take us is really too fantastic,” the French newspaper La Presse printed in 1860. Pasteur began to devise tests to prove his belief that air contained living organisms invisible to the naked eye.

At times, a story demands more credibility than we can muster, so we change some of the details to reconcile ourselves to the “truth.” Mr. J., a Christian, had to reframe for himself the concept of Christ and the crucifixion to render it credible. He was able to accept that Christ was crucified, not for the reasons often accepted, but for the fact that Jesus was a political dissident.

Mary Karr, American poet, essayist and memoirist, surprised her friends when she turned to Jesus 20 years ago. “Wouldn’t you give a crutch to a one-legged man?” she answered by posing a question.

For me, Karr's metaphor of a one-legged-person is apt and applies to many. Most of us are crippled to a greater or lesser degree by life’s imperfect circumstances; suffering and loss is inherent. In addition, the human condition is riddled with paradoxes and contradictions. Belief or faith can help us keep our balance on the rocky terrain of life. But the matter is a tricky one. Do we use our faith to pave the way for possibilities for all, or to judge and destroy others?

I can’t end this blog without addressing the elephant in the room—the blind faith of the terrorist suicide bombers. In Islamic practice, a person killed in jihad (the militaristic practice of murdering disbelievers) is believed to become a martyr who achieves a special status in paradise. Clearly, there can never be a proof for this conviction.

Conclusion: In truth, blind faith has the power to both save and kill. At times, a belief morphs to perceptible reality, as in the case of Pasteur, whose faith in science and the power of observation led to discoveries and improved our lives in remarkable ways.

Dear Reader, I look forward to your comments. jsimon145@gmail.com.