Management and Our Emotional Lives

Living in the same neighborhood, the upper west side of Manhattan, for several decades, I’ve witnessed many restaurants and businesses come and go. Many endeavors begin with energy, verve and excitement. Then some businesses seem to lose their initial burst of enthusiasm. This observation motivated me to ask what factors/qualities distinguish success from failure; the term “management” emerged from the morass. 

A modicum of research turned up the name John Spence and his 6 simple principles of good management.  Although he applies the principles to businesses, they can be modified to serve individuals.  These include mission, vision, values, communication, focus, and disciplined execution or action.

Then I asked myself how good management relates to psychology and realized that our ability (or inability) to manage emotions and feelings determines our successes and failures.

Emotions and feelings are like the foundation of a house upon which the entire edifice/structure depends and requires maintenance. Failure to manage our feelings and emotions –anger, fear, sadness, disgust and joy—endangers the structure of our lives.

Emotions constitute our personality structure. If we neglect them, they can affect our health. On the other hand, feelings embody reactions to external events and frequently need modulation before they are expressed. Please refer to my blog of August 24, 2015 for further detail on emotions and feelings).

The news is filled/rampant with stories of politicians and public figures who wreck their careers by engaging in illegal activities-like sex scandals and illicit money schemes. Presumably these people fail to synchronize their (private) feelings with their (public) goals, and embody examples of emotional mismanagement.

When we indulge in self-hate we create obstacles to good enough management. For example, Ms. V. grappled with poor self-esteem that blocked access to managing her considerable artistic gifts. She lacked a clear mission and vision and failed to act even when she received positive feedback.

In brief, when issues of self esteem interfere, the individual needs to become aware of feelings of self- hate (and perhaps their origins) to muster courage and take risks.

Conclusion: Each of us juggles the complex tasks of living. But if we fail to manage our emotions and feelings, they can derail any endeavor.

Dear Reader, Your input is welcome. jsimon145@gmail.com

Curiosity: An Appetite of the Mind and a Gift to Cherish

Curiosity is one of the greatest gifts we humans possess. Bonus:  It’s free.

This underappreciated appetite for knowledge is what keeps us invested in the world around us and, in my opinion, makes us interesting to other people.

The word curiosity is derived from the Latin curiosus or “careful,”  a quality related to inquisitive thinking found in exploration and investigation, The curious genes pervade human and animal species as diverse as rodents, apes, cats, dogs (note above the picture of my dog gazing out a country window).

Furthermore, curiosity is associated with all aspects and ages of human development, an energy that propels us to learn and acquire the knowledge and skills to manage our environment. Ideally this knowledge helps to ease our uncertainty and anxiety.

Curiosity is not an attribute to outgrow, but rather a quality to nurture, even as we grow older, a fact that adds to the greatness of this natural gift. In contrast to other qualities (like anger) that we do well to bridle like wild horses, curiosity is an asset most often safe to set free.

Curiosity can free us from the prison of the ego, the trap of the judge who questions,  “Am I good enough?” “Dare I risk failure in attempting that challenge?” Instead curiosity can propel us like a bird soaring over the trees to answer, “I’m interested and I’ll pursue the matter.”

Antonie van Leeuwenhoek,  a Dutchman lacked a formal  education; yet his curiosity led him to great discoveries. Under his hand-ground lens, the Dutchman studied the plaque between his teeth and observed tiny moving creatures he called “animalcules.” He described their movements in simple, poetic terms and sent his observations in letters to the Royal Academy. Although at first the members in the organization doubted his sanity; ultimately, they were convinced of his discoveries which revolutionized the field of science. With no formal scientific education he became the man who today is considered the father of microbiology.

Each of us has our own unique brand of curiosity. At a young age I was tuned into my parents’ attitudes and behaviors, while my brother Bob has focused on objects like cars and history. (Pictured above, he examines an old bell on the grounds of the Historical Museum in Rockland County)

Although scientists haven’t identified the specific area in the brain where curiosity resides, the impulse seems genetic, but obviously also impacted by our environment.

Curiosity enhances our ability to learn and remember and has been found to involve a region of the brain connected to feelings, called the hippocampus, which helps build lasting memories.

The act of wanting and desiring new information involves reward pathways of the brain like the meso-limbic pathways and the nucleus accumbens as well as the neurotransmitters dopamine, serotonin, and opioid chemicals. In essence, a high state of curiosity stimulates interactions between neural pathways involved in motivation and memory.

Do you have it or not? In other words, is it a given? Or can we encourage it to flourish with nurturing like a delicate plant? Our educational system would benefit us by focusing on the question of how to increase a child’s curiosity and creativity.

Certainly, curiosity can be discouraged by criticism, condemnation, demand for conformity, and demanding rote memory versus problem solving.

Here are a few thoughts on fostering this vital quality:

• Encourage the ambiguity. For example, a child can be happy to be invited to a birthday party even though she is sad not to be receiving presents. 
• Encourage problem solving
• Point out the advantages of differences.
• Noting differences stimulates curiosity. We’re motivated to ask: what makes the differences and why do they exist?
• Support and encourage rather than criticize, and transform judgment into encouragement.
• Reward the ability to delay gratification.
• The ability to delay gratification allows us to pursue a matter in the face of a less-than-desired result or a disappointing response from others
• Point out positives and turn negatives into positives.
• Raise questions in neutral tones.
• Recognize the distinction between the judge who condemns and the critic who assesses.
• Encourage process thinking (problem solving) rather than rote memorization.
• Promote flexible, outside the box thinking rather than a rigid “It has to be this way” outlook.
• Celebrate the uniqueness of each mind.
• Consider a problem from many angles.
• Recast doubt as a positive attribute.
• Acknowledge that mistakes serve to teach us.
• Accept that no question is too silly to ask.
• Confront poking fun and bullying behaviors.
• Ask: What did I learn today?

Conclusion: Curiosity is an appetite of the mind that pervades the animal kingdom, a quality to encourage and nurture because it enhances our human condition and benefits future generations.

Dear Reader: Please contribute your thoughts and experiences to this vital topic. jsimon145@gmail.com