Facing Addiction is an Act of Heroism

 Philip Seymour Hoffman,  who died from an overdose of heroin on February 2  was a great actor, but he suffered  in order to bring the roles of tortured characters to life.. In spite of the trappings of brilliance and success, Hoffman suffered and escaped his discomfort in a destructive way.

Psychological suffering lies at the core of addiction, the invisible, deep-seated, intense psychic pain that (mercifully) many of us can’t understand or imagine. (People experiencing intense psychological pain often wish for a physical illness, a visible sign that they are suffering).

 The tragic loss of a talented actor uncovers the horrors of addiction. Numerous articles have appeared in the press describing the resurgence and changing pattern of heroin and prescription drug abuse. Twenty years ago an addicted person would use heroin. Today, depending on availability, users switch between expensive prescription pain killers referred to by some as “heroin-lite” and inexpensive heroin. (The New York Times, February 11).

The change comes with repercussions. Given the availability of choice, a drug user is less likely to go through a period of withdrawal and instead, switches from one drug to another. Without a drug-free period, he’s more likely to remain permanently addicted and lost to himself.

Addiction is one of the most tragic and horrific illnesses known to humankind. Outside observers may have difficulty understanding and identifying with addiction. An immediate response is obvious-just don’t do it. But the matter is not simple.

Caught in addiction’s grip, a person often has little or no awareness that he is hooked, that he has lost perspective of his life and responsibilities, and is in danger of dying. He has been swallowed up by the habit he denies. He has crossed the boundary of caring into the land of oblivion.

People who care and depend on the addicted person, are often unable to help. Without his cooperation, no one can change the deadly tide of the invisible struggle.

Factors in the environment contribute too. In the past, an individual’s basic needs in his early life may not have been met.  He may have experienced mental or physical abuse.

In the present, he may want to escape his painful reality.

The good news is that addiction is no longer viewed solely as a character defect. (The fault lies not in the stars but in the neurochemistry.) Some of us will never become addicted; others are vulnerable from an early age and struggle against the temptation all their lives.

Most of us have a switch that tells us when we’ve had enough booze, for example. But the individual prone to addiction lacks that mechanism. Instead, his inner voice says, “Wow, this feels good. Let’s have some more.” This message leads to the dangerous state of oblivion.

An example of a person who achieved sobriety after many years of treatment is Mr. L.  His wealthy family focused on their business, and spent little time with him, unaware of his emotional needs. Although they met his material needs with money, he felt emotionally deprived. In order to numb his psychological distress, he began drinking in high school. He spent years in and out of programs before he was able to take responsibility. His recovery in part depended on recognizing and accepting his parents’ emotional limitations to “love.”  Eventually he was able to experience gratitude and appreciation for their help in getting good therapy.

In approaching an addicted person, these pointers may help:

1. Don’t judge but listen. Try to understand, not punish. Increasing the addicted person’s guilt is counter-productive, causing more distress from which he wants to escape.

2.Help the addicted person recognize that lessening the demands on himself is better than having to narcotize the discomfort.

Facing addiction is an act of heroism. Remaining addicted is antiheroic, involving failure to take responsibility, and often blaming others. He (and his actions) deplete(s) others too. (For more on Heroism and Anti-heroism please refer to the blog post of February 17).

Conclusion: Chemistry underlies the potential for addiction.

Many addicted persons betray themselves and others in attempting to escape from deep-seated suffering no matter what the origin. The goal for the addicted person and for us is to address and help relieve the underlying psychological suffering.

Dear Reader, I welcome your response.

Jsimon145@gmail.com

Heroes and Heroism on Presidents’ Day

On Presidents’ Day it seems appropriate to address the topic of heroism. 

Heroism involves a behavior or action on behalf of another person or for a moral cause.

Heroes overcome hardships, take responsibility for their actions, develop their unique talents and gifts and use them to serve others.

Heroic acts are performed voluntarily without recompense or material gain. Usually some kind of risk is involved, either physical or social to serve people or communities.

(Among our presidents, ranked at the top of the list of great heroes are George Washington, Abraham Lincoln and Franklin D. Roosevelt.)

Pete Seeger, folk singer and champion of progressive causes, who died at age 94 on January 28, was a hero. He was an unofficial ambassador for democracy and peace, a political activist, who sang all over the world, uplifting and uniting us in melody and feelings of togetherness. “His cultural mission was democratic...and political too.” (The New York Times, Jan. 29, A20).

By contrast, the antihero fails to take responsibility and blames other people for his misery. He (and his actions) deplete(s) others too. (More than likely, everyone has lived  through moments of heroism and anti-heroism!)

We don’t all have to be heroes in the traditional or historical sense. But we can channel the spirit of heroism through our own acts of personal discovery. Entering uncharted territory of the psyche, acknowledging and owning our authenticity, involves the heroic qualities of courage, focus, dedication and determination.

For some people life is so difficult that getting out of bed each day is an act of heroism. Someone who has been addicted to drugs or alcohol may have to make the heroic effort to remain sober.

Seeds of heroism reside in the discovery and development of our unique talents, whether recognized by the world or not. (I am grateful to be privy to the lives of many people who become heroes and heroines in their struggle for authenticity, for the love (by which I mean positive attachments) they have shown to help their families, friends, colleagues and more.)

Conclusion: We’re heroes when we face our fears, take responsibility for our lives and develop our unique gifts and talents to contribute to the world.

Dear Reader, Your comments are welcome. Jsimon145@gmail.com

The Arduous Road to Authenticity

In the last two blogs I wrote about the benefits of authenticity. But the human condition is complicated. We don’t live in isolation but in communities of relationships.

Some people find themselves in circumstances that don’t allow them to express their true nature without the threat of (serious) consequences. Although authenticity is a goal, an individual needs to be aware of the prohibitive, and even punitive, factors in the environment.

For example, Ms. F., a member of the first generation in this country is expected by her parents’ to follow the customs practiced in their old country. They want her to marry a man within her community, at a young age, and bear many children. Her parents have threatened to ostracize her if she deviates from this path.

When Ms. R. married a man of a different race, her family disowned her. She endured a decade of isolation from them before they relented and resumed contact with her and her new family.

Beyond the family bonds there are cultural mores.  To express deviance may place an individual at greater risk than ostracism. In many parts of the world, including the U.S.A., gay people have been victims of physical and psychological abuse.

Frank Bruni  (“Love, Death and Sochi,” The New York Times, February 4) cites the example of Roger in Cameron, Africa where homosexuality is treated as a crime. Roger openly expressed his love to a man in text messages and as a result, was imprisoned. As a result, he ultimately lost his life. “When he shared what was in his heart, his future was gone,” Bruni writes.

Isolation may result from the lack of opportunity to express one’s true self and lead to  depression with symptoms of hopelessness, lack of energy, difficulty sleeping and trouble concentrating.

The following steps can help:

1. The individual can discuss the matter with the family, to see if they will understand and accept him.

2. The individual can seek support and understanding from others, like friends and/or a psychotherapist.

3. The individual can put psychological and/or physical distance between herself and her family and/or community. (I.e., relocate to a more accepting environment.)

Conclusion: An individual needs to be aware of the impediments in the environment that curtail the expression of authenticity, and choose accordingly.

Dear Reader, I welcome your thoughts and experiences. Jsimon145@gmail.com

Psyche, Stress, and Selye

The great Hungarian endocrinologist Hans Selye (b.1907) began his studies on rats. Ten years later, he turned his interest and  observations to humans, recognizing that general symptoms like fever and aches were common to many “sicknesses,” He surmised that the body responded to an irritant or illness in a similar manner, no matter what the cause, and that doctors, accordingly, tended to prescribe general treatments such as rest and good nutrition regardless of the diagnosis,

Although Dr. Selye focused on physiology and the body, he understood that his observations applied to encompass the psyche too. He said, “Find your own stress level-the speed at which you can run toward your own goal. ...Make sure that both the stress level and the goal are really your own, and not imposed upon you by society, for only you yourself can know what you want and how fast you can accomplish it.”

He elaborated, saying, ”There is no point in forcing a turtle to run like a race horse or in preventing a race horse from running faster than a turtle because of some ‘moral obligation.’ The same is true of people.”

Selye’s advice coincides with last week’s blog post (“Voices Outside and Inside our Heads”). Sorting out and heeding our inner voice(s) is essential to diminish the stress on our bodies. Living our authentic self (i.e., a turtle like a turtle and not a race horse) rewards us with energy and the joy of developing and sharing our unique talents.

Everyone copes with and confronts (his own authentic) obstacles along the way. Selye noted a surprising one. He said, ”If I had known more, I would never have asked myself questions.” Although we commonly assume that the more we know the better, Selye viewed knowledge as an obstacle. The point is that no matter what the obstacle(s), confronting it (them) is an important step of the journey.

Mr. A.’s obstacle was fear. He backed away from a promising career because he was afraid of failure, and then was afraid to tell his peers that he had given up his profession. He continued to withdraw from everyone and everything. And he suffered from one physical illness after the next.  His life remained on hold until he faced his fears.

As usual, the message is clear and easy to vociferate, but complex and tough to apply.

1.     Listen to the inner voice (the one that often speaks loudest in silent moments.)

2.     Face your obstacles with honesty.

Conclusion: Over 100 years ago, the great physiologist recognized the intimate connection between our body and our psyche. Our physical health depends on discovering who we are (our true self) beyond the expectations of cultural factors and other people. An authentic existence is vital to good physical health.

Dear Reader, Your comments are welcome. Jsimon145@gmail.com