Money and Meaning

I hear from clients who suffer terribly from their compulsion to hoard, accumulating ‘stuff’ which clutters and overflows wardrobes and closets onto floor space. They become ashamed, don’t enjoy their homes or allow anyone to visit them.

Obviously, psychological factors interfere with recognizing the limits of our pocketbooks.  Some of us shop because of life’s frustrations, anxieties or feelings of deprivation and neglect to set long term goals.  

Ms. R. grew up with unaffectionate parents. Her father showed his caring by gifting her coins from his shop’s cash register. In her mind, money and love became inextricably linked. She believed someone would rescue her and allow her to continue to live in New York when she spent beyond her budget. (What do you think happened?)

Witness the article on page one of The New York Times ( January 31, 2012);    Anita Collins, a 67-year-old woman  stole over a million dollars from the Archdiocese of New York to buy expensive dolls and stuffed bears while she lived modestly in a $1400 a month apartment in Queens.  Clearly she didn’t need boxes of dolls for her physical survival. More than likely, feelings of deprivation motivated her criminal behavior.

We’re bombarded with a multiplicity of new products and gadgets all the time. Advertising is a big industry in our Capitalist society and supports conspicuous consumption.

(We assume there isn’t any other way but I’ve heard that the Scandinavian countries are different. The Nordic Model or mixed-market economy allows for free, privatized trade while emphasizing strong public services such as universal healthcare and education.)

We don’t have to spend lots on clothing or health products. Some important items are relatively inexpensive, and there are several substitutions which help us save money.

Knock offs, sales, and consignment shops to purchase an elegant yet inexpensive wardrobe.   Fake furs, leather and diamonds possess “bling” too and may be more durable than the genuine materials.

Although I’ve experienced feelings of deprivation, I’ve come to appreciate (through living and psychotherapy)  the frugality of my father who grew up in the Great Depression of 1929.   Discovering bargains and attending cultural events (theatre, poetry readings and concerts) give me pleasure beyond the accumulation of ‘stuff.’ 

The best things in life are still free. Love of nature, rewarding relationships, gratitude. (Please refer to my blog on Giving and Gratitude (December 16, 2011).

Conclusion: Exploring the sources of frustration, anxiety or deprivation and setting priorities ultimately gratify beyond accumulating 'stuff' and over-spending.

Dear Reader: I welcome your comments. (jsimon145@gmail.com)