Moonlight, the Movie: Of Parenting and Role Models

  

My patient Mr. B. said one day,  “I’m still angry at my father (for what he did/didn’t do) but I realized I’m like him in many ways.” In actuality, our identity, for better and/or worse, is formed by attributes of each of our role models. We become who we are through experiences with people closest to us: our parents or care-takers.

The award-winning movie Moonlight dramatically portrays this theme through the coming-of-age story of a poor African American homosexual boy named Chiron in the segregated south.

Chiron is raised, more or less, by a drug-addicted mother who throws him out of the house when she needs to entertain men. 

He wanders the streets bereft before being befriended by a handsome, successful drug dealer who takes him home to his girl friend and serves him a home-cooked meal.

In a review in the March issue of Out, L.F. Brathwaite notes that drug dealers not infrequently show kindness and serve as role models for street kids who have no other caring people in their lives. Gay men have approached the writer of Moonlight in the street, Tarell Alvin McCraney, with tears and gratitude, thanking him for portraying “their” story for the first time on the big screen.

In high school, a peer Kevin, initiates a homosexual encounter with Chiron. Later, a class bully taunts Chiron about being gay and forces him to beat Kevin up. A school councilor tries to patch matters up, but she doesn’t understand the complex dynamics, and Chiron can’t explain them to her. As a result, he takes matters into his own hands by beating up the bully and landing in jail.

 Upon his release, he follows the only path he knows: he becomes a drug dealer, perpetuating the cycle of dealing and addiction that ensnared his mother and led to his sorry fate. But he sees himself as a success who drives a cool car and dons gold chains and gold teeth.

Years later, curious about his old pal, Kevin contacts Chiron, who visits him at the diner where Kevin has made an adjustment to a working class life as a fast-order cook. Kevin has been able to form relationships with women and children. (Presumably, he had better parenting.)

Kevin is curious to know who Chiron really is.  With a few halting words, Chiron reveals that Kevin has been his only sexual/love encounter; essentially Chiron is a loner.

Conclusion: We’re exquisitely dependent on role models to shape us. Understanding our role models lends/leads to empathy. The question:  how can we help children deprived of healthy role models? Our social system at this point in time, seems inadequate to the task.

In our age of computers, perhaps it isn’t far-fetched to imagine a future where robots provide some child-rearing functions, providing better care-taking than some troubled parents can.

Dear Reader, Your comments are welcome. jsimon145@gmail.com