Self-Discipline is a Gift

We often associate the term “discipline” with “punishment.” In fact, several definitions of “discipline” include the word “punish,” which might help explain the negative connotation. But self -discipline is the opposite of punishment; it can be a great gift.

People commonly “reward” themselves with a rich dessert or a cigarette, but these indulgences, if practiced regularly, actually “deprive” a person (in this case, of good health).  Discipline, however, involves constructive behavior-the tendency to care for the body, mind and spirit (or feelings) --and is necessary to achieve success in any endeavor.

Some high achievers, like President Obama, must be disciplined in every aspect of their lives. By contrast, the majority of us, conform to expectations, like those required to keep a job, when necessary. Mr. N. is more representative of us “regular folk”: Although his work performance is stellar, he suffers serious health problems, including emphysema from years of heavy smoking, and obesity, from a lack of discipline regarding his eating habits.

We all know the list of people who self-destruct from insufficient discipline  (like drinking, smoking, over-eating) is endless. But the reasons underlying such destructive behavior-often the lack of caring and respect for ourselves—is worth examining.

Many factors obstruct the path to discipline that an individual may need to discover.  Some require a small tweak to change, like keeping a food diary to increase awareness of intake. Others may necessitate a deeper self-examination.  For example, Mr. J. becomes aware that he will have to deal with sources of frustration in his marriage in order to stop numbing himself with alcohol.

Not uncommonly, we set ourselves up for failure when we attempt to do too much too soon. Inadvertently we create a master-slave relationship within our psyches.

Insisting on going to the gym six or seven days a week, for instance, instead of gradually increasing the frequency may cause the slave within to rebel against the over-strict master.

Ms. L. gives up coffee completely and suffers headaches and fuzzy-headedness. Unable to tolerate the symptoms of withdrawal, she starts drinking caffeine again. She’d probably have been more successful if she had tapered the amount over a few days.

Mr. K. insists that he will finish his Ph.D. thesis in a year. This requires him to give up his social life as well as his exercise program. After two weeks the slave within him rebels, unwilling to bear the deprivation.

To think of discipline as binding like a straight-jacket, works against the goal.

Self-discipline requires us to be patient with daily progress.

Conclusion: Self-discipline is best thought of as a gift that comes from self-respect. It frees us from our appetites and puts us in charge.

Dear Reader, I welcome your thoughts. Jsimon145@gmail.com