Monday, November 4, 2013

Abandoning Personal Power




My baby brother (ten years my junior) is an expert on many things, so I ask his advice on occasion. His outlook on the world differs from mine; he possesses bravado and the self-confidence to walk into any social situation.

Nevertheless, regarding a recent dilemma, I was surprised by his aggressive approach that had the potential to exacerbate the conflict.  By contrast, I hoped to solve the problem without ruffling feathers.

As I mulled over the matter, I realized that I almost yielded my sense of autonomy to my brother’s modus operandi.

How often we (especially women) accept another person’s opinion over our own (perhaps “good-enough”) judgment,  resulting in an abandonment of our personal power, I thought.

Ms. D. is an example.  An intelligent, middle-aged woman with years of experience living with a husband who lacked a good business sense, she participated in their last business venture that resulted in bankruptcy. She acknowledged that she had yielded to him knowingly and committed the same mistake again and again.

What factor (s) lie behind the surrender of our better judgment is worth asking ourselves. We could be governed by self-hate, a lack of trust in ourselves, or the simple preference to be a backseat driver.

Conclusion: Many factors may underpin sacrificing our personal power to others.  Regardless of the cause, becoming aware of this tendency gives us the choice to change the pattern. We can diminish life’s frustrations and improve relationships with others (whom we might otherwise blame).

Dear Reader, I welcome your thoughts. Jsimon145@gmail.com

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