The Opportunity of Envy

Envy has been relegated to the (category of the) taboo.  But instead of shunning it, we can learn from facing and probing this “despicable” emotion. Acknowledging what we envy offers the opportunity to direct or re-orient our lives to achieve our goals and second, to avoid acting out our feelings to the detriment of ourselves and others.

The Queen Mother in the fairy tale of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves is a tragic case of envy acted out destructively. She envies her beautiful young daughter and instead of recognizing her emotion (and directing it to an advantage), she attempts to poison Snow White.

Envy is like a yellow light signaling  “stop, look, listen.”

True we can’t always have what we envy. The loss of youth is an unavoidable deprivation.  The challenge (of la condition humaine) is to discover how to turn loss to advantage.

Holding on to envy leaves us empty, dissatisfied, and resentful, sapping us ( of the greater goal) of fulfillment. Recognizing her envy, the Queen Mother could have re-directed her efforts toward, for example, espousing a philanthropic cause, which would in turn have helped her experience purpose and fulfillment and be remembered as a “good” person.

We envy something we’d like for ourselves. I found myself envying another person’s free time. He scheduled his hours according to his own design, allowing him the luxury to read several newspapers every day.  My envy signaled that I wanted more free time, and I re-directed my effort toward this goal.

Conclusion: Feeling envious offers a valuable opportunity to examine our lives and redirect our energies.

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