On my recent trip to Tulum, Mexico, I became acquainted with an Ocelot (Leopardus pardalis or dwarf leopard). He lives in a cage outside a large natural cave. This small wild cat, native to Central and South America, Trinidad and Mexico, resembles a domestic pussy cat with the spots of a leopard. The tour guide explained that this Ocelot had been injured and was found wandering in the surrounding brush. He was detained for treatment of his wounds. When he recovered he refused to return to the wild and loitered near the cave. With no choice but to continue to protect him, the attendants enclosed him in a rectangular cage (10’ x12’) facing the tropical forest.
Although he looks as gentle and sweet as the domestic cat, he has behaved in a less friendly manner. His wild side emerged and he attacked people, striking with his claws when they attempted to pet him. A protective rope had to be strung around his cage to warn the visitors.
In spite of good food and shelter, he appears unhappy, pacing back and forth at the railing all day as if he wonders what lies beyond the cage. At best, he is a malcontent; at worst, he suffers from alienation and perpetual agitation.
He strikes me as a miserable, unfortunate creature, neither at home in the wild nor at peace in his protected environment, an example of an outsider with himself and the world. (If only he’d been able to curb his wild side, he’d be protected, fed and free.)
The process of going from insider to outsider can be as rapid fire as changing positions in the age old children’s game of Musical Chairs. We’re all insiders while the music plays. When the music stops we race to find a chair in order to stay in the game. But we know someone will lose; someone will become an outsider. (I remember the thrill when as a child I landed on a seat, only to experience the horrible letdown feeling in my chest when I missed the chairs and became the outsider.)
I think how some of us humans exist in a state of limbo and ambivalence like the Ocelot. I’m reminded of an ex-patient, a middle aged woman who antagonized her daughter and son-in-law by disobeying the rules of the household. They could not tolerate her criticisms of them day and night and finally retaliated by expelling her from their home. She could not accept housing provided by social services; she felt fearful of the other residents as well as superior to them, too good to accept these lowly accommodations. It’s possible that she projected her hostile feelings onto them, imagining they would harm her as she might have wanted to attack them.
She wandered from homes of acquaintances who were willing to house her briefly to various homeless shelters. She complained constantly; nothing satisfied her. She was never at peace. She too was an outsider with herself and the world.
Alternatively, the outsider position may offer opportunities to which insiders aren’t privy. Potential Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney touts his advantage to problem-solve as an outsider in Washington.
Malcolm Gladwell, author of several popular books including Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking and The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference
, has written eloquently on the subject. In a New Yorker article he argues that in business being an insider has obvious advantages, but being an outsider does too, even if one is pretending. “Dual citizenship” (as insider/outsider) makes a businessperson “harder to pigeonhole, and therefore harder to take for granted.”
, has written eloquently on the subject. In a New Yorker article he argues that in business being an insider has obvious advantages, but being an outsider does too, even if one is pretending. “Dual citizenship” (as insider/outsider) makes a businessperson “harder to pigeonhole, and therefore harder to take for granted.”
Conclusion: The experience of Insider and Outsider is common to all of us. Awareness of how quickly these positions change can be useful in negotiating life. Awareness and flexibility allow a person to use each position to their advantage.
The Question: How has Insider and Outsider status worked for and/or against you?
Dear Reader: I welcome your comments. (jsimon145@gmail.com)
As Leonard Cohen writes in the Sisters of Mercy:
ReplyDelete' You who must leave everything that you cannot control...It begins with your family and later rolls round to your soul'
An interesting thought in this context of insider-outsider. He recommends healing at the hands of others in this song as one way to go.
Thanks for this blog.
Thanks so much for adding your thoughts.
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