The Mysterious Memory

As a psychiatrist, I am my most important patient, and I use my reactions, experiences, and behaviors to learn more about myself and others. A recent personal discovery shocked me. So astounding that it is worthy to share with others because it says a lot about the mysteries of the memory. After several years of glancing at the wall in my living room on which I’ve mounted portraits of my significant family members, I realized I omitted a photo of my mother, probably the most important person of all because I knew her first and longest. More than anyone else, she is responsible for who I am today, and I am grateful to her. So how could I stoop to this oversight?(Notice the paradox:  Stoop downto overlook.  Appreciating paradox is other ground worthy of exploration.)

My mother Ruth and I had lived thousands of miles away for several decades while my father lived nearby and played a more central role in my life. But Ruth, a feminist, instilled in me the rights and equality of all humans, and thinking of her, sparked another memory that had laid dormant for some sixty-odd years; a lesson from my homemaking class about how to wash sweaters without shrinking them, a lesson that if I’d remembered all these years, would have saved me a fortune in dry cleaning bills.

In Junior High we girls took the homemaking class while the boys studied shop.  Liberal-minded Ruth disparaged the division between what was taught to the boys vs. the girls. Way ahead of her time, she did not think that knowledge belonged to one sex or the other. She realized that a mind is omni-capable regardless of its proportion of X and Y chromosomes. To be honest, I wasn’t the sort of girl who would have  derived more benefit from studying shop. I didn’t seem talented in either arena. No Martha Stewart I. Nor would I have become a master woodcutter or builder.

The question is: How and why these sudden sparks of insight! Someday we may understand more about memory’s mysteries. With the help of the relatively new technique of Functional Magnetic Resonance Imaging (fMRI), neuroscientists are positioned at the frontier of observing the mechanisms of the brain in action.

We know that the more we remember, the more we can and will remember. Connecting to the hidden or buried thoughts and feelings is a luxury as well as a necessity because connectivity is what keeps us young. And mental and physical stagnation contribute to aging.

Let’s toast to the process of connecting to our connectivity!