In the last two blogs I wrote about the benefits of
authenticity. But the human condition is complicated. We don’t live in
isolation but in communities of relationships.
Some people find
themselves in circumstances that don’t allow them to express their true nature
without the threat of (serious) consequences. Although authenticity is a goal,
an individual needs to be aware of the prohibitive, and even punitive, factors
in the environment.
For example, Ms. F., a
member of the first generation in this country is expected by her parents’ to follow
the customs practiced in their old country. They want her to marry a man within
her community, at a young age, and bear many children. Her parents have
threatened to ostracize her if she deviates from this path.
When Ms. R. married a man
of a different race, her family disowned her. She endured a decade of isolation
from them before they relented and resumed contact with her and her new family.
Beyond the family bonds
there are cultural mores. To express
deviance may place an individual at greater risk than ostracism. In many parts
of the world, including the U.S.A., gay people have been victims of physical
and psychological abuse.
Frank Bruni (“Love, Death and Sochi,” The New York Times, February 4) cites
the example of Roger in Cameron, Africa where homosexuality is treated as a
crime. Roger openly expressed his love to a man in text messages and as a
result, was imprisoned. As a result, he ultimately lost his life. “When he
shared what was in his heart, his future was gone,” Bruni writes.
Isolation may result from
the lack of opportunity to express one’s true self and lead to depression with symptoms of
hopelessness, lack of energy, difficulty sleeping and trouble concentrating.
The following steps can
help:
1. The individual can
discuss the matter with the family, to see if they will understand and accept
him.
2. The individual can seek
support and understanding from others, like friends and/or a psychotherapist.
3. The individual can put
psychological and/or physical distance between herself and her family and/or
community. (I.e., relocate to a more accepting environment.)
Conclusion: An individual
needs to be aware of the impediments in the environment that curtail the
expression of authenticity, and choose accordingly.
No comments:
Post a Comment