The Gift of Feedback from Client to Psychotherapist

As a seasoned psychotherapist, psychoanalyst and psychopharmacologist with more decades of experience than I care to mention, my mind often touches on the subject gift giving. I know I’m a few days late for Valentine’s Day, but as you well know, we can’t predict when, how or where the mind will take us.

As a therapist, I strive to guide my clients toward personal insights, hoping they’ll give themselves the gift of greater self-awareness. Along the way, my clients also bestow invaluable gifts in the form of feedback, which help me improve and better treat them.

This morning in my daily scribbling, I began to reflect on the different types of gifts we receive. I’d been on a Valentine’s Day cruise where there were several sweet reminders of the love holiday. First, a complimentary dessert of sweet chocolate cake covered with a thin layer of shiny pink icing. Then, our cabins had surprise heart-shaped vanilla cookies sprinkled with red crystals waiting for us in our cabins after returning from dinner. How sweet is that?

Another unexpected gift I was given came from a client of mine who introduced me to the concept of love languages. She lent me her copy of The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman, so that I may have a better understanding of her personal issues. 

You, dear clients, give us therapists a gift when you tell us what we may be missing or how we could be erring in our treatment. Just like anyone who is interested in personal growth, we also learn from our mistakes and your feedback is critical.

Recently, an appreciative client told me that a suggestion I’d offered on how to approach a romantic interest wasn’t helpful. They thanked me for my effort, then shared that they were going to find another provider who might be better suited to their needs. I certainly appreciate the fact that they let me know. I didn’t have the nerve to ask them why my input failed to hit the mark. Dear client, you do not owe a detailed account of your dissatisfaction, but when you do offer feedback, I am grateful for it and do experience your words as ones that deliver the gift of information. 

Dear Reader, I welcome your comments.

jsimon145@gmail.com

GHOSTING

                                      

    I am a psychotherapist/psychopharmacologist. I work with a platform where patients can not only schedule their own appointments, but they can also cancel them. This style of scheduling is a new phenomenon that puts a strain on real life relationships. 

    I have now become too familiar with the term ghosting: a person’s sudden disappearance without any proper communication. Even something as seemingly impersonal as when someone makes an appointment on my online calendar and then deletes it before we’ve met can fall into this category. Here in six lines is a poetic expression of the perturbing phenomenon. 

    Please, dear client, I would appreciate even a brief explanation when you disappear.

    Gratefully, Dr Jane S.

    P.S. Please feel free to offer your comments and experiences.

    jsimon145@gmail.com

Being Ghosted

I’ve been ghosted and must pick 

up the slack, crossing off the names 

of those who have shucked me off their list. 

My brain will tidy up the matter 

with an intellectual broom of 

the mind janitor sweeping the hallways clean.